Monday, December 6, 2010

Experiment #1/Short Story

Ever since I finished participating in NaNoWriMo, I have been brainstorming to find new excuses to express my creativity a little more. As a result, I have decided for the next few weeks, I will do my best to submit one piece of work (whether it be a video, writing, photography, etc.) a week to keep my motivation going. Another reason for me to do this is also to get used to having people reading and critiquing my ideas since I am usually quite apprehensive about my work. I still have much to learn in writing so honest opinions and suggestions are greatly appreciated. Don't hold back.

For my first week, I decided to try my hand in freestyle writing. I've only proofread this once and didn't really do much editing on it. This is my attempt in starting a story "in medias res" and trying to have a reader have an idea of the back story involving it.

Experiment #1


            Rocks sprayed down the mountain as Lan slipped against the rocky terrain. He gave a hearty thanks to his anxiety fueled reflexes as he clung on to a protruding rock. After regaining his footing, he climbed up and rolled onto a nearby ledge where his partner stood facing him with his wide stance and his hands resting on his hips. His over enthusiastic companion peered down the cliff to measure how far they have climbed while his hair flared behind him from the wind, roaring defiantly through their ears.
Lan remained sprawled out on the ground like a throw rug. “How much more do we have to climb, Cole?” he asked between wheezes of air.
            Cole stood firm as he flipped a map out and unfolded it. “According to the map, we’re done climbing.”
            “Really?” Lan sat up with delight. “So we’re finally here?!”
            Cole let out a single, “Ha!” as he stuffed the map back in his pocket. He slid his legs to readjust into dramatically pointing at a cave. “Now we must traverse this cave.” He twirled around and thrust his open hand to Lan’s less than eager face. “Come now, Lan. It is time to spelunk!”
            “I’m never going on another mission with you again,” said Lan as Cole helped him up. “What’s so special about this girl anyways?”
            “She was the Collectives top marksman…errr markswoman. But don’t let her appearance fool you, she can be one powerful ally…or adversary.”
            Lan wiped the sweat from his face with the handkerchief from his dad. “A lot of hard work got soaked into that rag” was what his dad said when he gave it to Lan. Hard work isn’t really on my to-do list, thought Lan as he shoved it back into his pocket. “Let’s get this over with,” he said, marching towards the cave.
            “Hold on there, high step.” Cole hopped in his way. “You can’t just sha-shay your way into Artemis Tell’s home, unannounced.”
            Lan gave him a strange look. Cole was never one to miss a chance to rush into danger in a blaze of glory. “Why not?”
            “Surprising a marksman is already a bad idea. But she also lives up here for a reason, she isn’t too fond of people.”
            “I thought you two went way back. Wouldn’t she be happy to see you?” asked Lan.
            “We do, but we didn’t really end on the friendliest of terms.”
            Lan cocked his eyebrow, “Is that as bad as it sounds to me?”
            “No more questions!” snapped Cole. “Artie isn’t…”
            Shrapnel of rock erupted between them, followed with a high pitched ping. Lan yelped as he fell back from the sudden barrage and scrambled to his feet only to be shushed by his guardian.
            Cole’s whole body kept completely still, save for her eyes that darted around their surroundings and lips. “Don’t move,” he remained a statue as his eyes examined the smoking rock in front of him, “Guess we don’t have to worry about surprising her anymore…”
            The sound of metal sliding against metal echoed out of the cave followed by the clatter of a metal shell. They remained frozen as Cole stared into the cave in the corner of his eyes.
            “There’s only one man I know that still has the audacity to call me Artie and he knows all too well that I only miss on purpose,” boomed a voice from the cave.
            Cole’s neck pivoted to get a better view of the cave “Is that you Artemis?”
            “Cole Bridges,” hissed the voice, “Last time I saw you was through the crosshairs of my scope.”
            “And I still to this day give thanks that you held your fire,” Cole clasped his hands together in prayer.
            Her response was echoed out the cave in the form of sliding metal. Lan’s sweat pushed through his forehead and trickled down his face as his entire body tensed up. This was exactly why he wanted to avoid doing missions with Cole.
            “Wait!” shouted Lan. “Don’t shoot us! Michael sent us!”
            “Michael?” said the voice. The wind whistled through the hardened sediment as a girl half his size holding a gun twice her size. “What does Michael want?”
Lan was too shocked to answer immediately, his brain having trouble comprehending a girl with such a delicate frame being able to hold such a large gun.
She rested the gun over her shoulder and continued, “Come in, let’s discuss this over tea.”
            Cole unfroze and started to walk over to her. “Oh thank goodness, for a second there…” He was interrupted another explosion of rocks next to his feet.
            “You stay where you are!” said Artemis, staring down her scope, “I haven’t decided to forgive you yet.” Her demeanor changed as she turned to Lan. “Come now young man, we have much to discuss”
            “Young man?” thought Lan, “I look twice her age.” He walked inside…

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